Lists, and Lists, and More M*therf*cking Lists.

Hey, umm, yeah, haven't been on this in almost exactly four months. Been kinda busy lately, you know how it is. Anyway, I'm back and I'm going to TRY and update this more often but I just forget about it.

So here we go. My top ten lists for Movies, TV, and Music. Keep in mind that these are the things that were MY favorite, not that I think they should your favorite things or Oprah's favorite or anybody's favorite things. I just really love lists and I like making lists.

Also, keep in mind that I didn't see every movie this year and I also didn't watch every television show and listen to every album that came out this year. Let's be reasonable.

Kay, here we go for real this time. And yes these are in order from 10-1, 1 being my absolute favorite.

MOVIES:
10. Inception
9. The Fighter
8. True Grit
7. Kick-Ass
6. Let Me In
5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One
4. Toy Story 3
3. The Kids Are All Right
2. Black Swan
1. The Social Network

Honorable Mentions: The King's Speech, Easy A, The Town, Winter's Bone, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Jackass 3D (each provided a different kind of entertainment)

MUSIC:
10. Rihanna-'Loud'
9. Arcade Fire-'The Suburbs'
8. Hurts-'Happiness'
7. Taylor Swift-'Speak Now'
6. The xx-'XX'
5. Drake-'Thank Me Later'
4. The Pretty Reckless-'Light Me Up'
3. Shakira-'Sale el Sol'
2. Robyn-'Body Talk'
1. Kanye West-'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy'

Honorable Mentions: B.o.B., Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Katy Perry

TELEVISION:
10. Supernatural
9. Parks and Recreations
8. Lost
7. Justified
6. Skins
5. True Blood
4. Sons of Anarchy
3. The Vampire Diaries
2. Modern Family
1. Mad Men

Honorable Mentions: The Office, Grey's Anatomy, Smallville, Gossip Girl, Sarah Palin's Alaska.

Those are my choices, love 'em or hate 'em. I like what I like suckas.

See you guys next year.

So You Think You Can Judge?

As you all may know I'm a die hard American Idol fan. Well, I was until last season happened, fuck you Lee. And now that Simon is officially gone I honestly don't really have a reason to watch anymore. . .until I heard that Ellen was also leaving and that Kara Diowhateverthefuck might get kicked out of the judges table.

SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
This opened up a shit ton of possibilities for a show that many people think should've ended 2 or 3 years ago.

As you may know, or should know, lots of names have been thrown around as possible new judges. Justin Timberlake, Elton John, Pharrell, Mariah Carey, Shania Twain, Harry Connick Jr, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, etc.

Basically half of these names are absolute bullshit. Elton John? Not gonna happen. Justin Timberlake? Definitely not gonna happen. Pharrell? Probably won't happen. Mariah Carey? Meh, it could happen since her career is in the shits.

So really the only people who really might join are Harry, Shania, Jennifer, and Steven Tyler. Honestly it's probably going to be J.Lo and Steven Tyler because they both are pretty much confirmed and they're both fine with me.

BUT THEN, I started thinking about who could take that show and turn it upside down ass up.

THEN, I started making a whole new judge line-up in my head and I think I finally have it nailed down.

Fuck all the people that I listed up there, kick Kara's dumbass to the street, air life Randy's fatass out of there.

THESE IS WHAT THE NEW AND IMPROVED AMERICAN IDOL JUDGES' TABLE SHOULD LOOK LIKE STARTING TWO WEEKS FROM NOW WHEN AUDITIONS REALLY START.
(Note, I am listing the judges in the order they should be seated from left to right, because some of these crazies won't work well sitting next to each other.)

Judge #1
-Tyra Banks: Her talk show is over, she doesn't know shit about music (so she's perfect to replace Ellen) and she's uber full of herself, like Simon. The big bonus is all the batshit crazy talk she'll spew out the moment it comes into her gigantic head, she won't care if a contestant isn't done singing she'll just go on about how fat she is now or some dumb shit like that.

Judge #2
-Justin Bieber: Yes, he maybe only 16 but he has more talent in that perfectly coiffed hairdo than most people have in their whole body. Plus, WHO DOESN'T HAVE BIEBER FEVER?!?!?!

Judge #3
-Marilyn Manson: He can dress crazier than Paula and yet still be a little less creepier than Kara. He knows his shit about music, he won't talk about Seacrest's sex life like Simon did, and he probably won't say much so that way Tyra can still have plenty of time to talk about her weave and shit. He can also mentor the inevitable Marilyn Manson-theme week.

Judge #4
-Judge Judy: Come on, who else is going to insult people as great as Simon did. She's super sassy, super smart, and super fucking rich. Just like Simon. Plus she don't take bullshit from anybody.

There you go, the new and improved American Idol judges table.

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, FOX.

The Emmys snuck up on me. . .

I've been so busy with "school" and shit lately that I almost completely forgot about the Emmy Awards, my second favorite awards show. The Emmys get a lot of shit for being boring and long, even though they're usually as funny and shorter than the oscars. And the actual trophies/awards are pretty badass, with the angel holding a globe and shit. Anyways, I love TV and I love awards. Here are my predictions on the categories that count.

DRAMA
OUTSTANDING DRAMA
Lost
Breaking Bad
Dexter
Mad Men
True Blood
The Good Wife
Should Win: True Blood. Even though the current season is better, last season was absolute entertainment.
Will Win: Lost. I would say Mad Men but last season wasn't it's best. And Emmy loves rewarding shows that have recently passed on.

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife)
Mariska Hargitay (Special Victims Unit)
Glenn Close (Damages)
Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)
January Jones (Mad Men)
Connie Britton (Friday Night Lights)
Should Win: Connie Britton. She is hands down the best actress on TV at this point.
Will Win: Julianna Margulies. She does amazing work in The Good Wife and she has the one thing none of these other actresses have, HYPE.

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights)
Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)
Hugh Laurie (House M.D.)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
Matthew Fox (Lost)
Should Win: Kyke Chandler. The best actor currently on TV. It's also a shame that Hugh Laurie still hasn't won Emmy.
Will Win: Bryan Cranston. Threepeat, and he really is amazing in Breaking Bad, I also wouldn't be surprised if Matthew Fox sneaks in there.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
John Slattery (Mad Men)
Aaron Paul (Breaking Bad)
Martin Short (Damages)
Terry O’ Quinn (Lost)
Michael Emerson (Lost)
Andre Braugher (Men of a Certain Age)
Should/Will Win: Terry O' Quinn. He proved that an actor can totally rock two different roles in the same show. Almost at the same time.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Sharon Gless (Burn Notice)
Christine Baranski (The Good Wife)
Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
Rose Byrne (Damages)
Archie Panjabi (The Good Wife)
Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)
Should Win: Christina Hendricks. Who doesn't love Joan?
Will Win: Rose Byrne. Damages may not get the viewers but this past season was Rose's best work. And Emmy already proved its love for her co-star Glenn Close.

COMEDY
OUTSTANDING COMEDY
Glee
Modern Family
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Nurse Jackie
30 Rock
The Office
Should/Will Win: Modern Family. One of the funniest shows of ALL TIME. Glee could also win but the second half of its season was pretty bad.

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Lea Michele (Glee)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Toni Collette (The United States of Tara)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine)
Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie)
Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation)
Should Win: Amy Poehler. Parks and Rec is fucking hilarious and Poehler is rocking that shit. Lea is krunk too but her best acting comes from the dramatic scenes.
Will Win: Probably Falco or Collette. Whatever.

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Matthew Morrison (Glee)
Steve Carell (The Office)
Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)
Tony Shalhoub (Monk)
Should Win: Steve Carell. Still can't believe he hasn't won one of these already.
Will Win: Jim Parsons. He has great timing, and same as Marguiles, HYPE.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Chris Colfer (Glee)
Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family)
Jon Cryer (Two and A Half Men)
Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
Ty Burrell (Modern Family)
Should Win: Chris Colfer. The best male actor on Glee his performance is highly underrated.
Will Win: Eric Stonestreet or Ty Burrell. They both deserve it and are both equally hilarious.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live)
Jane Krakowski (30 Rock)
Julie Bowen (Modern Family)
Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
Holland Taylor (Two and A Half Men)
Should/Will Win: Jane Lynch. Sue Sylvester, nuff said.

REALITY
OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW HOST
Ryan Seacrest (American Idol)
Phil Keoghan (The Amazing Race)
Tom Bergeron (Dancing with the Stars)
Heidi Klum (Project Runway)
Jeff Probst (Survivor)
Should Win: Heidi Klum. She's uber sassy and awesome.
Will Win: Jeff Probst, I mean he won twice already.

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW COMPETITION
Project Runway
Top Chef
The Amazing Race
Dancing wi.h the Stars
American Idol
Should Win: Dancing with the Stars. Did you see Kate Gosselin's 'Paparazzi' dance?!
Will Win: The Amazing Race. It's the only show that has ever won this award.

"I would shoot my mom to. . ."

Lately I've been using the phrase "I would shoot my mom to. . " whenever I really want to do/eat/experience something.

For Example, "I would shoot my mom to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs in concert." Something like that makes sense because the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are one of the best bands on the planet.

But then things started getting out of hand, like when I said "I would shoot my mom to go to a taco stand right now." Really, Emilio? That seems a little out of hand. Why don't you just go to to a taco stand, it's not that a big a deal. You don't have to commit murder to get some tacos.

Anyway, here's a list of things I would really shoot my for, and I don't mean shoot to kill. I mean like shooting her in the thigh or bicep, just flesh wounds.

-"I would shoot my mom to party with the cast of the Jersey Shore."

-"I would shoot my mom for some cheesecake." (coincidentally my favorite cheescake is the kind my mom makes, she's tough though, she can handle cooking with a bleeding wound)

-"I would shoot my mom to be a co-host or even a guest on The View."

-"I would shoot my mom to live in London."

-"I would shoot my mom to not ever have to see a possum again in my life."

-"I would shoot my mom to be on The Real World."

-"I would shoot my mom to be the new judge on American Idol."

-"I would shoot my mom to be the star of my own Branson stage show."

-"I would shoot my mom to be on The Hills, R.I.P."

-"I would shoot my mom to own Pepsi, the whole company."

-"I would shoot my mom to have been able to visit Lindsay Lohan in jail."

-"I would shoot my mom to have hair like Justin Bieber."

-"I would shoot my mom to have a dinner party with Hillary Clinton, Amy Winehouse, Miley Cyrus, and Kate Gosselin."

-"I would shoot my mom to have my own Harajuku Girl foursome like Gwen Stefani used to have."

-"I would shoot my mom to be able to sing like Aretha Franklin."

-"I would shoot my mom to go bungee jumping/sky diving."

-"I would shoot my mom for my own manatee."

-"I would shoot my mom for Emma Watson/Natalie Portman/Carrie Underwood/Kat Von D/Sarah Palin."

-"I would shoot my mom to be the Meryl Streep of my generation."

-"I would shoot my mom to be the third member of The White Stripes."

-"I would shoot my mom for an NSYNC reunion."

There's many more where that came from, but I feel like my mom doesn't need to get shot at anymore. She ain't 50 Cent.

Gagapalooza.

As many of you, or probably none of you, know this past weekend I attended the music festival known as Lollapalooza in Chicago, Illinois. . .and I had the best weekend of my life.

First of all the drive to Chicago is bullshit, Illinois is 97% corn and 3% Chicago. That's IT.

And my friend Emily and I were trying to get there before 9 pm on Thursday so we could watch Jersey Shore, and after rushing through terrible Missouri traffic we made it into our room at 8:50 ish and turns out our hotel, The Congress, didn't even have MTV. Fuck that.

Anyway, back to weekend.

FRIDAY:
Woke up at 7:50. Left the Hotel at 9:20 ish. Stood in line for a couple of minutes to get our three day wristbands. Then we sat in another line so they could "check" our bags. (P.S. Umm who ever's in charge of bag checking, sucks at their job :P) We made some krunkass friends known as our Chicago Babies, cus they were like 17, and we were there Oklahomies aka Mama and Papa Party. And then once they let us through we ran to get to our first stop. . .

-B.o.B., who was really good live, great way to start things off. He was very energetic and had everyone dancing and getting krunk. Best part was when he ended his set with a cover of MGMT's "Kids" which made everyone go batshit crazy.

After B.o.B. we chilled for a bit, I bought some shades and then we went to our second stop. . .

-The Big Pink, I was really impressed with them, super loud and super fun to dance to, krunk times. After them we rushed to get to. . .

-Semi-Precious Weapons, fucking badass. Honestly super rock n' roll all the way. Poured champagne on the audience, Gaga was there, it was fucking amazing.

-Hot Chip, (with a side of Matt & Kim, cus we could here them while waiting for Hot Chip/GaGa) they were a lot of fun. I really like them now, lots of fun krunk dance songs. Even though they all look kinds old and nerdy they have really good electronic-dance music.

MAIN EVENT: Lady GaGa, there's no way to describe this performance. I don't mean to diminish everyone's experience who went to any of her Monsterball shows because, although this was technically like the Monsterball at Lollapalooza it was so much more than that for her. The thing is she performed at Lolla 3 years ago on the tiny BMI stage and nobody understood her music/performance. And here she is 3 years later rocking out on the fucking MAINSTAGE at Lolla, it was beautiful. I laughed, cried, and danced my fucking ass off. There were over 80,000 people watching her and most of them were there just to see what the fuck she was gonna do, and let me tell you nobody left till it was over. SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

HIGHLIGHT OF FRIDAY: GaGa's stage dive at the end of Semi-Precious' set. I held her hand, and her leg, and her shoe :)


SATURDAY:
Didn't get up super early, probably at like 9ish split up with Emily as I went to go see. . .

-Dragonette, lots and lots of fun. Great way to get my energy up for the rest of the day. Danced and danced and danced. AND Martina pointed at me and the guy next to me who was tripping on shrooms.

I tried meeting my other half, but that didn't happen till post xx but I did find Grace aka one of the four.

-The xx, a lot better than I expected them to be, they had a huge audience, but most people weren't even paying attention. I liked 'em. Love their sound.

After xx Emily and I sat through Deer Tick's set, they weren't impressive, alright I guess. We were waiting for the real draw at the Sony Bloggie stage. . .

-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, fucking perfect. THIS show is what music festivals are all about. Everyone dancing, singing, and just having a good time with what feels like a crowd of your best friends. Even if you don't know thousands of them. Absolutely perfect.

MAINT EVENT: Phoenix, hahahahahah. So I decided to umm be the tiniest bit inebriated during Phoenix's set and let me tell you, I had a goodass time. I danced everywhere it seemed like, I made friends with this super krunk girl. She was black and I always make friends with krunk black girls, that's a little racist but super true, we had a good time. Emily basically had to walk me back to the hotel :)

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: When Alexander (Edward Sharpe) had everyone sit down for the bands impromptu encore. Beautiful.

SUNDAY:
Don't remember when we left the hotel. Anyway,

-Neon Hitch, I had never heard of heard of her before but she played on the same stage that Lady GaGa and Ke$ha played on and look what happened to their careers. There were minor technical mishaps but she was super krunk and she stage dove and she did covers of "Cooler Than Me" and "Seven Nation Army". Love her.

After Neon Hitch Emily and I ate real food for once: Gyro and Burrito. Then we decided to get to the Budweiser stage early so we could get good spots for. . .

-MGMT, AHHHHHHHHHHH. So good. They were so into the performance which was a relief because they were starting to get a rep for not having stage presence. But at Lolla they killed it, completely. The sucky part were the tons of crowd surfers who kept interrupting my dancing/jamming out to krunk songs.

MAINT EVENT: Arcade Fire, they played on the same stage as MGMT so I decided to stay which almost killed me cus I almost passed out due to lack of water and just being tired but it was fucking worth it. Arcade Fire was mind-blowingly brilliant, so much energy from everyone. Honestly they are one of those bands that blows your mind when you see them live, so genius and amazing and all those great adjectives. Great way to end the weekend.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: Arcade Fire's encore performance of "Wake Up". It changed my life, so exquisitely beautiful.

That's the end of it, unless you want to read about all the TNT Emily and I watched over the weekend. Or how my voice still sounds like a smoke a carton of cigs a day from all the hootin and hollerin.

See Ya,

P.S. Go to a music festival, preferably Lolla cus it's alot cleaner than the others, if you get a chance.

Things I Don't Like That Everyone Likes.

Not too long ago a friend of mine mentioned the television show Mad Men and how they were starting to watch it and getting really into it, to which I replied "I fucking love Mad Men." My friend threw her hands in the air and said "What the fuck Emilio, you like EVERYTHING. Every TV show, every movie, almost all music, you can't be obsessed with everything."

Yes, it's true I do like a lot of things pertaining to entertainment and popculture but their are also LOTS, well maybe not lots, but some things that I don't like. And they are usually things that everyone else seems to highly enjoy. So here we go, things Emilio doesn't like, and when I say doesn't like I mean almost hates.

Will Smith: I don't like most of his movies except Men in Black and Independance Day. I think he is extremely over-rated and his son seems like a little shit.

Cop/Lawyer Shows aka Procedural Dramas: There are two types of TV shows, there are serials and procedurals, serial shows have a storyline that is developed every week like Gossip Girl, Lost, Weeds, The Office, etc. Procedurals have a storyline that is developed and solved each week. For example: CSI, Law & Order: SVU, Criminal Minds, NCIS, etc. I HATE PROCEDURALS. I've never seen an entire episode of CSI or SVU or any of those highly unoriginal boring cop shows. I hate them, with a passion. I like my characters to develop each week, I like storylines that take longer than forty minutes to conclude.

The Beatles: I don't dislike The Beatles but I just don't get why they're such a big deal. The only songs I like are Across the Universe, Hey Jude, and Let it Be, other than those I don't think their music is "life-changing" and I don't think it qualifies them as "the bast band ever". I just don't get it, they're alright but not THAT good.

Rent: Won the Pulitzer, really? I think Rent is honestly the one of the most overrated musicals ever, but then again I'm not a big fan of musicals. Rent however just seems like a lifetime movie on crack, literally. It's so mushy and uses cheap tricks to bring the tears. Whatever.My favorite musical is Cats, so what do I know.

Oprah Winfrey: I just hate her.

Moulin Rouge: Out of everything else on this list Moulin Rouge is hands down the one thing I hate most. It is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The acting is terrible, the plot is bullshit, all of the songs that are sung are basically butchered. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.

That's all I can think of on the spot, but there are plenty more things that are popular that I hate.

See ya.

The Hills: Always Bringin' the Drama.

For four years, six seasons, and 102 episodes The Hills has been one of the biggest influences in my life. What started out as a kinda pointless spinoff from one of the best shows ever, Laguna Beach, transformed itself into one of the most mind blowingly addictive reality shows of all time.

This post is dedicated to the greatness that The Hills has brought to my life. You may read this and think "What a fucking tard." or "Whatever, he's just writing about this shit for attention." well let me tell you somethin': I FUCKING LOVE THE HILLS AND I ALWAYS WILL if you don't like it suckmydick. And if you've never given this show a chance then I feel deeply sorry for you, you are missing out my friend.

Let's start by talking about what made The Hills such a joyous experience. Was it the cast of characters? The fun sunny city of LA? The fact that 'Don't Phunk With My Heart' has been played on almost every episode? No. What made The Hills so amazing was the drama. Always the drama. Characters came and went but the drama was always there, and at the end of the day the drama is what people are going to remember most about The Hills. Whether it's the Lauren/Heidi drama, or the Audrina/Justin Bobby drama, or even Stephanie Pratt being a fucking idiot drama, drama is drama and nothing tops drama.

As far as the characters/"real" people on The Hills, they all brought something special to the drama table. Leading ladies like Kristin, Lauren, and Heidi would be nothing without the side players like Kelly Cutrone, or Stacie "The Bartender", or even Enzo. Let's go through each major/kinda important person and see what made them so "special".

Lauren-Of course the top dog of The Hills, we met her in Laguna Beach when she was a whiny pushover bitch and she didn't change her pushover whinyness until season three when the infamous "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID" quarrel took place. That was when Lauren finally became a leading lady with some character. She had her ups and downs personality wise but there was definitely a nice character arc there. She went from being a my biggest headache to growing some balls, kinda. In the end she proved that her life was interesting enough to carry a show for four and a half seasons.

Heidi-Oh Heidi, where do I begin. She was Lauren's little annoying boy-looking friend to one of the most bizarre people to ever grace my television screen. Season one I didn't care for her. Season two came around and so did Spencer Pratt, we'll get to him later, and Heidi became a whole lot more interesting. Then the sextape rumors started about Lauren and Heidi became the first bitch of The Hills. Season three was all about Heidi morphing into the villainess of the show but she could never really make me hate her because she was too naive to know what was going on, and the banter between her and Spencer is priceless. Season four-six was involved her lame ass family and her and Spencer getting married and getting a house and a bunch of pointless boring shit. In the end she got her mega plastic surgery and was basically kicked off the show Survivor style. I miss season two Heidi. . .

Audrina-Poor Audrina, always the bridesmaid never the bride. For five seasons she had to play second or third fiddle to Lauren and Heidi and then Lauren leaves and Heidi becomes boring and just when she thinks she'll finally get her chance to shine Kristin Cavallari comes in and steals the show. You got to hand it to the girl, she stuck it out from the beginning to the very end and she's the only character that was in both the series premiere and the series finale. She's the only of one of the original golden foursome (Lauren, Heidi, Audrina, Whitney) that made it to the end. Audrina, like Heidi, didn't get interesting until season three when good old Justin Bobby rolled in to the picture, drama. Audrina was kind of blah for a long time. I didn't know if she could be bitchy or be funny or be anything until she finally put on her reality star boots in season four and started shit with Lauren. Audrina to me is the girl that I was always hoping would just figure out what she wants and honestly it wasn't until the final season that I realized she's kind of a kickass girl who is just really chill.

Whitney-Hmm, let's see. Oh yeah Whitney was on The Hills for four seasons and then the bitch bounced and moved to New York to film her own show 'The City', which has improved drastically. Whitney on The Hills was Lauren's sidekick, let's be honest, she didn't work hard enough for that spot on the opening credits. But she was there because we needed four girls. Not to hate on Whitney though, she was the smartest person to on The Hills, period. She was level headed and her advice to Lauren was always classy and legit. She makes the best reaction faces. I only have fond memories of her Lauren chatting it up in the Teen Vogue offices. Whitney was a class act and honestly I liked her better on The Hills than I do in The City.

Spencer-AKA the villain of The Hills. Every show needs a good villain and Spencer is one of the best television villains ever. Hands down. He turned the show from being "okay" to "holy shit did you watch the hills last night? fucking spencer. . ." AKA he saved the show. Spencer was/is a douchebag, there's no doubt about that, but he's also really fucking smart. He made a career out of dating Heidi and he said the funniest shit on The Hills. He could start drama out of anything and he mostly always did. My favorite moments of his involve Spencer and either Stephanie or Holly and he will just sit there and verbally abuse either one, or both, and it will be totally awkward and unbelievably hilarious. Spencer Pratt is reality gold. Too bad he had to go all fucking crazy and get kicked off the show, with Heidi.

Brody-The prince charming of The Hills. I just love that he was both the main love interest for Lauren and Kristin. HAHAHA. Anyway, Brody well not "anyway" cus that's all Brody really was. A love interest. He was only involved in drama that dealt with relationships, he also brought that crazy bitch Jayde into the show and that was pretty funny. Oh yeah, him and Spencer used to be besties. . .WAIT I know what Brody did, he brough guys into the world of The Hills. Before Brody there was just the original golden foursome and the guys they were kinda dating for a bit, then Brody came along, fucked Lauren, and introduced the golden foursome to some guys. Guys like Frankie and Sleazy T who have now become permanent fixtures on the show. THEY EVEN GET THEIR OWN SCENES.

Stephanie Pratt- Let me tell you something about Stephanie Pratt. No one has worked nearly as hard as this girl to get on this show. This bitch started off by yelling at Lauren at a club and we all thought that was the last of the She-Spencer but no, NO. She enrolled her ass into Lauren's computer class, made friends with her, ditched her loser brother and after three and a half seasons of hard work and determination got her name and face into the opening credits. This girl put in major work to make it, unlike Whitney who just sat there and listened to Lauren. I'm glad Stephanie made it on the show. For the longest time she was the go-between person for Heidi and Lauren and then that shit ended so she went for the vacant Whitney sidekick role then the drama with her and Spencer started happening so I was like "Damn girl, you got your own drama?! Get it." She's now the comic relief of the show with her witty remarks like "What's lacrosse?"

Kristin-"YES YES YES. THE BITCH REALLY IS BACK." Those were my exact words when Kristin finished her first catfight on The Hills. First of all, it was her first major scene and it ended with her getting into it with almost ALL the girls on The Hills and she won. "Is that how it's going to be? Cus if that's how it's going to be then fucking bring it bitch." After she uttered those lines my worries were pushed aside and I knew that my favorite Laguna girl was back and she meant business. Midway through season five Heidi and Spencer got married and Lauren left the show. Rumors were being heard that Kristin Cavallari, Lauren's arch Laguna Beach nemesis, was going to come in for a couple of episodes once Lauren left. Then it became that she was doing like ten episodes, then this bitch showed up at the Speidi wedding strutted down the main aisle and I knew, I just knew she was replacing Lauren. Then it was confirmed that Kristin was permanently taking Lauren's spot as the lead on The Hills. I, of course, FLIPPED OUT. Kristin was my favorite person ever when she was on Laguna, I fucking loved her. On The Hills, Kristin was just like her Laguna Beach self except there was something about her that was a lot tougher, not meaner or cattier, but more like "I'm the lead now, and you guys can suck my dick cus I'm bout to drive a fucking drama train through this show because that's what they brought me here to do." And she delivered. She made an immediate enemy out of Audrina, made Stacie the bartender her sidekick, fucked Justin Bobby, fucked Brody, and that was all in half a season. Now in the final season she relaxed a bit and is settling into her lead role, she's a lot more relatable and almost kinder. All in all, bringing Kristin in when Lauren left was the best decision the producers ever made.

Lo-I'm still baffled that Lo stayed on the show without Lauren. We all know that Lo and LC are BFFs from Laguna and that's why she made it on The Hills in the first place. When Lo first made a guest appearance I loved seeing her. I missed Lo. Then the more and more she was on the show the more I thought "Well why not just get rid of Whitney and throw Lo into the opening credits, bitch is on every episode anyway." Then Lauren left and Lo still was on the new season and it threw me for a loop. But she's cool so whatever, now she's on the credits and we met her boyfriend Scott and she fits in nicely in this final season.

Justin Bobby-Justin? Bobby? Justin Bobby! From the moment he told Lo "You can call me whatever the hell you want." With that Johnny Depp as Capt. Jack Sparrow drawl in his voice I knew The Hills had found its most interesting character yet. Justin Bobby started out by being Audrina's unofficial boyfriend. He dressed like a homeless person, said the craziest shit, "I believe truth and time tells all.", and he hated Lauren. Which caused major drama with Audrina and Lauren but he really just didn't give a shit. He didn't give a shit about anything. Oh yeah, then he fucked with Kristin for a hot second and he recently came back this season for Audrina but she finally, FINALLY turned him down. Justin Bobby. . .I shall only have fond memories of you and your fucked up view of the world. Oh yeah, fun fact he's a legit hair-stylist in LA.

Stacie "The Bartender"-In season five Stacie was brought in as a love interest for Spencer and she was annoying as shit. Then she left for a good six episodes and then went to Spencer and Heidi's wedding, and when Frankie saw her and said something like "She's hot" I knew she was sticking around and I didn't like it. At all. She annoyed the shit out of me up until like two weeks ago when I realized that "Oh yeah, Kristin needs a sidekick, I guess Stacie is an okay sidekick" even though I'm still confused as to how she went from serving Spencer drinks to partying with Kristin.

Frankie-Frankie is Brody's BFF. He made out with Lo once. He's Hispanic. Fun fact: He was on Laguna Beach. Uhh, yeah. He's Brody's Whitney/Stacie. Except he just becomes more and more pointless and annoying as the show goeson.

There have of course been lots of other characters that have come in and out of this glorious program, like: Jen Bunney (dumbass skank), Enzo (dumbass kid), Allie Lutz (crazy dumbass skank), Mikayla (clueless Brody stalker), Ryan Cabrera (didn't we leave him on The Ashlee Simpson Show?), the endless amount of guys Audrina went on dates with, Jason Wahler (fat douchebag), Heidi's boyfriend from the first season and his douchey roomate, Holly Montag (drunk dumbass), Heidi's Mom (stop crying all the time) and many many more.



I'll be back later with my TOP TEN HILLS DRAMA.

I Thought This Was Supposed to be Summer.

Hmm. . .

Dear Hollywood,

The 2010 summer movie season is sucking, really really sucking. The only movie that I've actually enjoyed, all the way through, is Toy Story 3, natch. Prince of Persia=flop. The A-Team=flop. Robin Hood=flop. Shrek WhoGivesAFuck After=flop. Sex and the City 2=flop. I guess Iron Man 2 was alright, but def not as good as the first one.

The worst part is, I'm actually looking FORWARD to Eclipse. No one should ever have to look forward for a Twilight movie. EVER.

Whatever.

I'll just hibernate till Inception comes out.

Summer Job? Fuck That.

A couple weeks ago I got to thinking that maybe I should get a part time job this summer just so I can have some money saved up in case I needed to bail someone/myself out of jail or if there was a sale on Harry Potter merchandise at Hot Topic.

Anyway, I decided to apply at a couple of random places. First on my list was Target, because it's my favorite store in the whole wide world. But they weren't hiring, fucking clit flickers. I applied at Half-Price Books because they had a huge NOW HIRING sign but didn't hear back from them, assholes.

One day I was sitting on my computer thinking of places I wouldn't mind working at, I had two rules: NO RESTAURANTS and it had to be a place that I would actually shop at/use my discount. I also took in account that it had to be at least somewhat close to my home. I settled on applying for Michael's: Arts and Crafts store. I like arts and crafts and it's not far from me so why not? I went to Michael's website and clicked on 'Apply for a Job'. Then the fucking application process began.

I don't know how many of you have applied for a job at Michael's, probably none of you. Motherfucker. That application was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I swear to god. It started out like any other application: name, social security number, have you been to prison, etc. Then the fucking ACT test came along. There was a portion that had questions, and I swear to god I am not exaggerating, that were similar to this: "What is 35% of 700?" and "If Sally's train leaves the station at 9:37 and Carlos's bus leaves at 3:45 who will get there first?" It was like I was back in fucking Algebra II and I had no idea what to do.

Fucking ridiculous. The best part is that that section was timed. I had 10 minutes to finish my fucking test, so i of course guessed on half of it.

Then came the "Questionnare" which literally had over 200 questions, and almost all of them asked "Would you consider yourself of a leader or a follower in group settings?" Halfway through "Questionnare" I gave up and just said I was a fucking follower and I realized that working at Michael's was not worth it.

Someone Once Told Me The Grass Was Much Greener On the Other Side. . .

Once upon a time I was a young chap in around the age of 10-11 a new show premiered on Nickelodeon (back when they played cartoons and not iCarly, which I love nososecretly) it was called As Told By Ginger and Nick promoted it as a sort of Dawson's Creek for kids set in middle school with mean girls and wannabes running around causing drama.

I of course was there the night it premiered ready for some PG preteen catfights, what I got however was something so much greater. I remember, not distinctly, that after that first night of watching Ginger feeling as though I had made a group of new friends. The show ended up being nothing like a teenage Dawson's Creek and everything like what a person around the age of 11-13 needed to watch especially if they were going through that awkward part of life that dealt with crushes and acne. The show was set up to externalize what all us kids were feeling at the same time: "Middle school is bullshit", "Why can't I be popular", oh great another zit, "God my friends can be idiots sometimes", and of course "I hate my life". And the show told these stories without shoving morals down our throats but by helping us realize that things weren't so bad as they seemed.

The show followed Ginger's friends and frenemies that attended Lucky Jr. High. The first thing that I immediately loved about Ginger (the show) was that the character's didn't wear the same fucking clothes in every episode. Anyway, the characters included Ginger's BFFs: Dodi and Macy. Dodi was my favorite cus she was such a wannabe and of course Macy was the clueless hypochondriac that never understood what was going on. Ginger was also friends with Darren, aka her future bf. And then there was Courtney and Miranda the popular girls. Courtney was sweet, and Miranda, well Miranda was a complete bitch. All these characters were written in ways that helped me as kid relate to each one. None of them was totally one-dimensional. I mean we all felt bad for Miranda when we saw how much of an asshole her military father was, and when someone pulled Courtney's top off at a pool party and revealed that she stuffed her bra I just wanted to hug her. Ginger herself was probably one of the best young female characters ever written. She spent days dealing with trying to be Courtney's friend but by the end of the episode she'd be home with her awesome mom (she was amazing) and her creepy brother. She was smart, independant, and ultimately she was the best friend anyone could have. She was always there when you needed her and sometimes she needed someone to take of care of her, but you always knew she'd be better in the long run.

What made As Told By Ginger especially brilliant was the storylines it tackled and the moments that were created in each episode. I think we can all clearly remember our hearts break then get lifted back together when Macy was ridiculed at the talent show for singing the "Little Seal Girl" theme song. I can still sing that entire song to this day. The fact that Ginger's parents were divorced was unheard of in an animated series. And when Ginger's dad would come on every now and then there was always a sense of loss and sadness that Ginger had to deal with, it was genius. The show even dealt with death, when Carl, Ginger's little brother, had his favorite teacher died I was in complete shock. This was uncharted territory for the shows that I watched back then. Ginger was truly groundbreaking.

Then there was the theme song, what a great theme song, "I'm In Between" sung by Macy Gray was my jam forever. "Someone once told me the grass was much greener on the other side. . ." it was absolutely perfect for this show and it spoke volumes on what this show was dealing with, beautiful. Every great show needs a great theme song, and this is definitely not an exception.

Now go off and watch some Ginger on youtube. Or I'll sing the little seal girl song.

"He drinks tequila, she talks dirty in Spanish."

There are times when something comes into your life so unexpectedly and so intensely that it takes a while before a person figures out what's going on and how to take in what is happening.

This morning I woke up at 9 am and laid my lazy ass down in front of the TV with my Harry Potter blanket ready to go back to sleep while watching Ellen. First of all, I don't care how tired you are, it is almost impossible to fall asleep during Ellen. Anyway I was slowly getting more awake when all of a sudden I hear a fantastic keyboard playing and a pleasant low baritone singing these lyrics "He drinks Tequila and she talks dirty in Spanish". Needless to say I flipped shit. I immediately looked up to see to Irish youths (brother and sister) and a nice soccer mom (the mom) banging out what has got to be the best Irish song since U2's "With or Without You".

Later on the trio named, Charity Swing, natch, performed on Ellen and it was magical. The son dances like Elvis mixed with Gaga and the girl really gets her J. Simpson on. However, I'm not gonna lie, for a second when they showed a clip of their youtube video I didn't know whether to vomit or cry tears of joy. Sometimes things this magical take a minute to digest.

But seriously, that song, "He Drinks Tequila", from Charity Swing's newest album, The Best Years of Our Life or some shit like that, is my JAM OF THE SUMMER. Katy Perry eat your heart out.

Why OKC Will Always Be Home To Me.

A few days ago I took a mini vacay down to D-Town (Dallas, Texas) to visit my main trick Jordan. It was intense.

We went to this skank club S4 and it was legit-ish. Next day we did some mini-shenanigans around Dallas and Tuesday we hit it hard all over the Dallas area. It was Drama. Drama Room (which is a bar/club in Dallas, HAHA).

ANYWAY, we had to drive back Wednesday and Newby was a shit mess, Ke$ha style, so I had to drive back which is never a good idea but it is quicker. Let me just say, me driving in Texas is a bad, BAD idea. I am probably one of the worst drivers ever, seriously I'm like 6th in the all time list, right behind Lohan and a couple of Asians. Needless to say when I was driving my way out of Dallas I almost died at least 17 times. Texans drive without rules, there I said it, they make decisions and go for it with no worries for their livelihood or anybody else's. I drive like a blind handicapped child so that is a problem for me. As soon as I made it into Oklahoma I let out a much needed sigh of relief. Damn, shit, WHY CAN'T TEXAS DRIVERS CHILL OUT FOR 2 SECONDS. For real, think about the chaos you're about to cause homies.

Point of this situation is that as soon as I hit Norman and Moore on the way back I flipped shit cus I just wanted my beloved OKC back. I think I am truly one of the only people who loves living in OKC. I love almost everything about it. I love the weather, the people, the local news, everything. And everytime I go visit a city like Dallas or Austin or Tulsa I do have fun for a couple days but after a while it seems like it's time for me to go back to my favorite place on Earth. Besides Paris, Texas, cus that's my shit.

I'm probably the only person who feels this way, but I don't care. I love Oklahoma City and I ain't afraid to admit it. Suck it haters.

Ghost Hunting 101

Last night me and some homies (Roy, Erica, Lindsey, Newby, Katie, and Kenneth) went ghost hunting. IDK if you guys know this but I am ghost hunting addict, for real. I love it. Last summer Erica, Lindsey, and I went ghost hunting once, it was my first time, and I got hooked on it immediately. Have I ever seen a ghost or witnessed something scary while doing this, no. However, it's still a thrill ride and I don't see myself ever stopping.

For those of you who are thinking that ghost hunting sounds interesting, or even bat-shit crazy, let me give an idea of what a ghost hunting trip is usually like, and how to get started:

1) Look up some places (yes, places as in more than one. it's never fun to only go to one place) online and make sure you find the exact location of where it should be, getting lost is never fun, but it does make for some fun stories.

2) Get a legit group of friends together. The most important thing about creating a krunk group is making sure the scaredy cats balance out the people who are up for anything crazy. This keeps things equal and it lets the ensemble mesh out, and smarter decisions are made.

3) Get your gear. GHOST HUNTING GEAR INCLUDES: Flashlight (duh), weapons (can be anything from a pocket knife to a bat), cellphones (but don't lose them), salt (in case you run into witches or demons), crucifixes (just in case there's vamps), and this is probably the most important item STRIPS OF CLOTH (if you are walking a nice long way through woods or anything tie these strips of preferably white cloth to tree branches or bushes so you can find your way back, you laugh now but they will save your life).

4)Once everyone is ready and has their gear you set out for your destination. Once you get close there will always, ALWAYS be someone who wants to back out. That's fine, usually this person can stay in the car for a speedy esape, if there is a need for one that is, but just remind this person(s) that it's going to be okay even though it probably will be terrible.

5) When you get to the location make sure everyone has their necessary gear. LEAVE ALL VALUABLES IN THE CAR. Except your cell, sometimes even that can stay but whatevs. If someone is staying in the car make them be the driver and have them be ready to start the car if any sign of danger appears, however don't let them drive away with out you. Which brings me to the most IMPORTANT thing about ghost hunting.

6) Before you set off you see some ghosts one question needs to be asked to the group. Are you guys a stick together through anything ghost hunting crew? Or is it every man for himself when things go to shits? Usually people stick with the first one, which is nice, but if there's an axe wielding maniac in the woods, it's easy to trip the person running in front of you so that your not the one getting eaten by cannibals or being possessed.

Now that you know the ins and outs of ghost hunting I highly suggest you start getting your research done and start getting that crew together.

WAIT WAIT WAIT.
People ask me all the time if I've ever seen anything scary while ghost hunting, the truth is. . . .NO.
But everyone should know that the scariest part of ghost hunting, isn't really the ghosts or monsters, it's getting shot and/or arrested.
Half the time the haunted places are on private property and since you're trespassing you can be shot and killed or taken to jail. That's never happened to any hunters that I know but you never know. . .


It's haunted.

Wake Me You Before You Go, Go

So lately I've been trying to catch up on some of my shows that I didn't get to watch during the school year for various reasons. Last night I started watching 'Justified' (which is the best cop show on television, besides 'Southland') and then 3 am rolled around so I decided I should probs get some sleep. My plan was to wake up at 8:30/8:45 and then finish up the rest of the eps before The View started. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE VIEW, BEST TALK SHOW EVER, I'll blog about it later. Anyway, I ended up waking up at noon. Yeah, I know. A good 3 hours later. Motherfucker. I missed The View and fucked up my schedule. The point of the story is that when you are a television addict, as I am, I cannot stress how important a strict schedule is. Especially when you have to throw in time for reading and shenanigans.

Here is a daily look at a typical weekday during my summer:

9:00 am-Wake up watch Ellen and The View, unless they're re-runs then either wake up and watch a show online or stay asleep.

11:00 am-Watch a show online. Trust me when you have as many shows as I do, there is ALWAYS a show that I need to catch up on.

1:00 pm-Get on facebook, check what's up with pop culture and celeb gossip. This can take roughly 30 mins to an hours.

2:00 pm-Read for an hour. There's always a book to read.

3:00 pm-Eat, aka get fed by my mother cus I can't fend for myself in the real world.

3:30 pm-Watch something random on TV. If I'm lucky Real Housewives will be on or Untamed and Uncut on Animal Planet (that's my shit) but usually it's something random until Gilmore Girl re-runs air on ABC Fam.

5:00 pm-Read either some more from a book or the current Entertainment Weekly mag.

5:30 pm-Around this I try to do something productive like read a play or something to do with acting, like the yoga and tongue stretches I was assigned to do for the summer.

6:00 pm-If my sister is home, which she never is, I try to spend some quality time AKA turn the telephone speaker on from the living room while she is talking on the phone in her room, just to see what's going on with her life. Sometimes if I'm lucky her cellphone will be laying around and I can read her texts. Usually though I just go to her room and we make fun of our mom or our family and then I'll either mess up her hair or pop her bra and run out.

6:15 pm-Back to reading, but usually I pass out for like 30 mins.

7:00 pm-Drink a Pepsi to refuel.

7:05 pm-Facebook/pop culture/celeb gossip, etc.

8:00 pm-There's usually something krunk on TV at this time so I'll watch TV for like deux heures.

10:00 pm-If I'm not going to do something illegal I'm watching Chelsea Lately.

10:30 pm-Either watch more TV online or get on facebook.

12:00 am-Online TV.

2:00 am-Read more.

3:00 am-Sleep and get ready to do it all over again.

I know some of may think it's lame but I love my life. And don't be hatin' just cause you can't be as relaxed as I am.

XOXO,
Gossip Girl.

I Wanna Do Bad Things With You.

So last night me and my homies Erica and Lindsey went to the True Blood Ultimate Fan Experience that took place in movie theatres across the country. And let me tell you, it was LEGIT.

I had forgotten how much I love True Blood because since it comes on HBO it only airs like 12 eps a year and then a long time goes by before we get a new season. After last night I'm never going to stop professing my love for this show.

For those of you who having been living under a rock, or Gabourey Sidibe's fat ass (jk, she's alright), True Blood is a show that takes place in a world where Vampires have come out of the coffin, aka they live among human beings now, thanks to a manufactured blood product called Tru Blood that allows them to live without drinking from humans, but they do that anyways so whatever. The show takes place in a krunkass small town named Bon Temps in Louisiana. Everything about this show is brilliant. It's actually based on a series of novels by Charlaine Harris but the show is becoming much more different than the books that you don't even really have to bother with them.

The best part of the show (besides the southern accents which I'm always a fan of) is the sex. And the cast, but the sex is legit. Since it's HBO they can do all kinds of crazy shit and it works perfectly with the story. Vamp sex looks awesome. The cast of characters on this show is the other aspect that makes it so satisfying. Anna Paquin is finally playing the character that can truly show off her years of acting in this business. Stephen Moyer, Rutina Weasley, and Sam Trammell play their characters with such ease that you forget that they are playing a vampire, a drama queen, and a shape shifter and you start to think that they could live next door to you. Nelson Ellis is absolutely hilarious as the uber-gay Lafayette (AIDs burger, anyone?) and Alexander Skarsgaard is the perfect antidote to the honest Vampire Bill as the sexual and morally deviant Eric. The best performance in my opinion belongs to Ryan Kwanten who dives in and gives a go-for-broke performance as Sookie's brother Jason. He delivers each line no matter how dim-witted with such honesty that it's hard to not like the guy even if he just shot someone in the head. There are many more brilliant characters in this masterpiece supernatural soap opera that give Bon Temps more depth than one would expect.

The real genius behind this show however is Alan Ball, the creator. The beginning of the first season had some weak spots as he and the writing team were trying to find the perfect balance of satire, drama, comedy, mystery, and horror and halfway through the first season they definitely found that balance. The show can jump from being heartbreaking to terrifying and from tears running down your face funny to edge of your seat suspenseful. This show really covers all it's bases and that's really the reason that it's become such a phenomenon.

At the True Blood Ultimate Fan Experience us fans got to watch the season 2 finale on the big screen with a free small soda (YES) and then they showed an extended trailer for season 3 which was AMAZING. Then we witnessed a cast Q and A with almost the whole cast and creator Alan Ball. A lot of fun info was shared and it really made the love the cast even more. The best part however is that after the Q and A we were released and then we got FREE GIFT BAGS.

Let me tell you something about me and free swag. I LIVE FOR IT. I'm like a Jewish housewife for free shit. If it's free I'll take it I don't care what it is, IT'S FREE (unless it's a possum or like an STD).

Anyway, in the free bag, which was a True Blood backpack, natch, we got books, coupons, little note cards, and best of all a bottle of Tru Blood. :) :) :) :)

Needless to say I'm a happy camper and last night really made this summer start to come together. BLAH. I'm excited.

So now that you've read this go start watching True Blood and get krunk for the new season that premieres June 13th at 9 on HBO.

P.S. I'm a fangbanger.

Vamp Out.

"Mama, it's me, Lucy"

8 years ago. People thought Britney Spears could do no wrong.

She was the biggest popstar on the planet, she was the most powerful celebrity in the world, she even got paid to drink Pepsi (just one of the reasons why Pepsi is my life). And then she released a little movie called 'Crossroads'.

On paper, 'Crossroads' looked like a surefire hit. It starred the most famous person alive. It featured a solid supporting cast. It was even written by the future creator of 'Grey's Anatomy': Shonda Rhimes. The storyline seemed easily attainable and it made sense for Brit Brit to play this character. It just sort of all didn't mesh as well as it could've.

Flashforward to the present time and I as a devout Spears follower had never actually watched 'Crossroads'. I made jokes about it all the time and never actually sat down and realized that I hadn't seen this movie and that was basically a sin for someone like me.

So one day I saw that a new friend of mine had the movie so I of course borrowed it on the spot. THANK YOU B-KOOP. Today my cousin and I sat down and popped our 'Crossroads' cherry. And let me tell you, it wasn't as painful or awkward as people made it out to be.

Britney Spears does NOT deliver a terrible performance at all. It's average at most but not as bad as I thought she would be. Miley was ten times worst in The Last Song. The story itself was not as ridiculous as I thought it would be.

The best part of the whole thing was that Zoe Saldana who was just in the biggest movie of all time plays one of the leads. And what an all-star cast it is: Dan Akroyd, Kim Catrall, Zoe, Taryn Manning, and Justin Long?! I loved it, loved it.

Honestly over all it's a legit movie that I need to rewatch like a thousand times now. Still can't believe fucking Shonda Rhimes wrote it. . . DRAMA.

Slytherin OUT.

Don't Call it a Comeback.

WHAT UP.

Guess who's back?! I'm pulling a Mariah Carey and emancipating my Mimi on this shit.
(basically just trying to say I'm going to blog more over the summer. . .)

A LOT OF DRAMA HAS GONE DOWN.

First things first. . .

Fuck American Idol. Fuck Lee Dewyze (honestly I've been watching this show all season and I still have no idea how to pronounce his last name. . .)
Simon is bouncing off this show and so am I. CRYSTAL WAS ROBBED.

TEAM X-FACTOR FALL 2011.

Who would've thought that Christina Aguilera could fall from grace with her much anticipated fourth album 'Bionic'. I mean how could she have fucked this up?!
SHE WAS WORKING WITH THE BEST ELECTRO/POP ARTISTS IN THE BIZ.
Ladytron, Le Tigre, M.I.A., Goldfrapp, Sia. . .
You dropped the ball girl, sit down and lick your wounds because this is a flop like no other. It doesn't bother me if you copy Lady Gaga as long as what you're doing sounds good, and it doesn't. However 'Woo Hoo' is fucking ridiculous and I love it.

Also, for the record, all you haters that say that Miley is copying Gaga and that everyone else who does something "different" or "crazy" is copying Gaga you need to shut your mouths and realize that Gaga isn't the only person who has original ideas other people can be wierd too that doesn't mean they're trying to be like her.
Last time I checked Gaga didn't sprout wings while trapped in a cage. I bet she's pissed Miley did that before she did.

Speaking of Miley, 'Can't Be Tamed' is officially my song of the summer.
It's krunk as shit. And honestly is it really that shocking for her to dance and girate like that. . .it's like okay people have been flipping shit about her not being a good role model and saying she's going to be some trainwreck like Britney or Lindsay well uh looks to me like she's going all out for Britney's TEEN POP PRINCESS CROWN just like we all said she would and correct me if I'm wrong but before Britney ever trainwrecked anywhere she had the world eating out of her multi-million dollar worldwide empire. Get it Miley.

SURPRISE TV WRAP UP!!!!!!!!!
Okay I'm going to try and make sense of this past TV season and give you hints on what shows to watch ove the summer. . .
-Glee: The most popular show in the world right now. One of the best first seasons of any TV show that I can remember, however, and I know this isn't just me that feels this way, the show is already feeling a bit tired. I am honestly thinking this show will burn out before we all expect it to. But for now it's awesome.
-LOST: BEST SERIES FINALE EVER. NUFF SAID.
-Gossip Girl: Just when I thought this show had lost it's edge, that fucking season finale happened. TEAM JENNY.
-Real Housewives: This franchise is for real the best thing on cable right now. Jesus Christ on a cracker it's addicting. My personal fave is New York but Jersey is right behind them.
-Smallville: After 10 seasons and half of my life this show is finally ending next year. Honestly it never had a really bad season it was consistant and still legit after 10 years and that's basically unheard of these days.
-Desperate Housewives: Marc Cherry (the creator) wants to extend the show for another two-three years. PLEASE DON'T this season was by far the worst and next season should definitely be the last.
-Grey's Anatomy: NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A SEASON FINALE. Just when I though Shonda Rhimes was done that fucking finale raised it hard.
-Brothers and Sisters: Excellent finale, terrible season. Needs something jumpstart the drama.
-Parenthood: LAUREN GRAHAMA I LOVE YOU.
-Vampire Diaries: True Blood for teens, and that is not a criticism it's a HUGE COMPLIMENT.
-Sons of Anarchy: Hamlet on motorcycles, and it's krunk.
-Nip/Tuck: I am highly satisfied with the ending of this groundbreaking drama, however Kimber didn't have to die.
-Chuck: The best show you AREN'T watching.
-Ugly Betty: Had probably it's best season and then it ended. :(

There are those recaps but I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot of other stuff.
THE BEST NEW SHOWS ARE: Parenthood, Glee, Vampire Diaries, Modern Family, Justified.
THE BEST SHOWS OVERALL ARE: True Blood, Glee, Modern Family, LOST, Supernatural, Parenthood, Parks and Recreations.

SHOWS TO WATCH THIS SUMMER:
-True Blood: For obvious reasons.
-Burn Notice: It's like CSI: Miami but actually good.
-My Life on the D-List: Kathy Griffin, nuff said.
-Weeds: Mary Louise-Parker, nuff said.
-Real Housewives: I don't care what city they're in, WATCH IT.
-Hannah Montana: Coming soon, it's the final season :(

Sex and the City 2 was kinda lame. The thing that worked so well about the first movie was that it felt a lot like just watching a long episode of the TV show with some extra glam and drama thrown in. It was great. The sequel feels like they tried to make it EXTRA GLAM AND EXTRA DRAMA because they felt like they needed to top the first movie or somehow make it into a movie-type situation.

What I'm trying to say is that the second one felt like a movie, just a regular romantic-comedy type movie with movie-world situations. I like that they vacationed but Abu Dhabi? Really? A lot of the scenes would never have happened in the TV Show. Like the muslim women in designer clothes and Carrie showing her leg like that. It felt like a sitcom, and Sex and the City was never a sitcom.

I think that's enough for now. . .

See ya,

EV

American Idol (please let this be the last season)

As you all may, or may not, know I pretty much cream my shorts for American Idol.
I don't care what anyone says, it's the best reality competition show on TV.
This season however, has been a (almost) complete shitshow.
Before I go off on whats wrong, and not wrong, with this season, let me give you my Idol background. Meaning let me explain to you why I love this show so much.

American Idol is one of those shows that you don't casually watch, nobody really likes American Idol. You must either LOVE it or HATE it. I've never met anyone who says "It's okay". I have heard both: "I'm fucking obsessed!!!" and "That show is annoying."

I, obviusly, love the show and everything about it, except Kara "Dumb-ass" Dioguardi but I'll talk about her later.

Here are the reasons I love Idol, and also the things that just make it so darn special to my heart:

-Simon Cowell, is the best judge on any show ever in the history of TV shows.

-The auditons: I love the really bad/hilarious (William Hung-She Bangs) to the amazing ones (Carrie Underwood, Kristy Lee Cook-even though she ended up being a joke). And of course every one in a while an audition becomes legendary (Pants on the Ground.)

-Hollywood Week: Also known as Hell Week. This is when the judges weed out the bad, from the really bad and the good from the really good. It makes for the best fucking television around. Fighting, tears, laryngitis, etc.

-The Ford Commercials: This isn't something I love about the show, but those commercials are always a good laugh. . .because they're soooo bad.

-Idol Gives Back: This is a new aspect of the show. Once a season, or every other season now, Idol has one episode that is dedicated to giving money to charities. I just like it cus they always get legit people to perform (K. Clark, Celine Dion, Miley Cyrus).

-Mentors: I love when Idol gets down to like 11 or 10 contestants cus that's when they break out the sometimes ridiculous, sometimes honest, mentors. The mentors are usually someone who is a famous singer and they usually helps the contestants with that weeks theme. Some highlights from mentors past include: Quentin Tarantino during Songs from Movies week (he was really good actually, Jamie Foxx during Big Band week (he was terrible), Jennifer Lopez during Latin week (good), Gwen Stefani during Gwen Stefani/No Doubt week (terrible), etc.

-The Theme Song: I FUCKING LOVE THE IDOL THEME SONG. It's probs the best theme song for a singing competition ever. The best part, it has NO LYRICS.

-The Coca-Cola cups: I want one of those god damn red cups the judges drink out of sooooo bad. For real.

-Paula Abdul, R.I.P: Once upon a time there was a judge on American Idol that literally had no fucking idea what was going on half the time. She wore the most ridiculous things, said the most incoherrent phrases, and clapped in the most awkward way ever. SHE WAS AMAZING.
My favorite Paula Abdul moment is when she judged both of Jason Castro's performances when he had only performed his first song. LOL. It hasn't been the same without her.

Now time for the list of things that I don't like about Idol this season:

-Kara "Dumbass" DioGuardi: Kara is a dumbass, literally she is a DUMBASS. She doesn't know anything about anything. Her facts are always wrong and she is trying way too damn hard to be the "cool" judge. Sorry bitch, but you and you're ridiculous mouth will never be cool, that's Simon's job. And Ellen's. And even Randy's. FIRE KARA.

-Amateurs: I've been watching Idol for 9 years now and let me just say there has never been such an untalented Top 12 ever. EVER. Paige Miles is complete shit. Katie Stevens is off pitch half the time. Tim Urban is a joke. Andrew Garcia looks like an idiot everytime his mouth opens. My god AND to make things worse this could all have been avoided if they would've just not kicked off Lilly (amazing), Katelyn (amazing), and Alex (amazing).

-The Lack of Drama: Each season of Idol comes with a scandal. Last season it was the tons of contestants that went to Hollywood even thought half of them had already had record deals and albums out before. And then there's Paula's affair that one year, and all those girls who've had nudey pics. This season there's nothing besides Crystal going to the hospital for diabetes. YAWN.

-Big Mike: I hate him. I just do.

To be fair there are some redeeming qualities about this season. There's Crystal Bowersox who is quickly becoming my favorite Idol contestant EVER. And Siobhan (amazing), Aaron Kelly (getting better), Didi Benami (she could be great if she picked better songs) and some others.

Also, Ellen Degeneres is a great addition to the judging table it would help if she was a tad bit meaner than she already is, I like her honesty but she's still trying too hard to be funny sometimes.

That's it on my Idol thoughts. Enjoy the rest of the season, I know I will (especially if Big Mike leaves next week).

People Who Don't Read, Are Dumb Part II.

Sorry, the first part of this post kind of went off on a tangent. I'm just a really passionate person, FALSE. Anyway, so what the point of this post was supposed to be is that people need to read more books, comics, graphic novels, hell even magazines. For every movie or tv show you love I guarantee there is a book/book series that fits the same genre and is probably better than the movie/tv show. For example, say you love watching movies that deal with Kings and Queens and the medieval times. Movies like Lord of the Rings, which itself is a book series, then you should read the Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin because it will change your life completely. The Acacia series is also really good high fantasy. Let's say you love T.V. shows that deal with family drama, like Brothers and Sisters, Everwood, Friday Night Lights, or even One Tree Hill (which is a terrible show now, btw) then you should read The Pact or Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. Both equally AMAZING books.

There are also amazing graphic novels and comic books out there that only seem to become popular when the movie comes out. But let me let you in on a secret, for every major superhero movie there is a comic book/graphic novel based on the same character(s) that is even better. The Dark Knight
NO. Reading a book just because you have seen the movie or are going to see the movie doesn't really make you a reader. If you saw Twilight, then read Twilight then read The House of Night novels or the Bluebloods series you are not a reader. You are a FREAK who is obsessed with Vampires, and for the record vampires don't sparkle, they burn in the sun and it's not spelled Vampyre, ITS VAMPIRE. I can understand reading a book because you liked the movie and then reading more books by the same author because you are just expanding your horizons. The only vampire series worth reading Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire series which is what True Blood is based off of, also The Vampire Diaries is a good series but I feel the T.V. show is way better. Same for True Blood.

That's basically all I wanted to say in this post.
Oh and here is my current reading list:
I am reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and then I will read, in no particular order. . .
Dracula, by Bram Stoker
The Other Lands, by David Anthony Durham
City of Bones, by Cassandra Clare
Valley of the Dolls, by Jacqueline Susann
Childhood's End, by Arthur C. Clarke
The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Under the Dome, by Stephen King
The Georgia Nicolson Series, by Louise Rennison
Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand
American Vampire, by Scott Snyder
and Finally
Watership Down, by Richard Adams

Yeesh that's a huge list.
But whatever, I plan on reading most of those this summer if my concert going doesn't get in the way (expect a post on my future concerts soon.)

See ya, wouldn't want to be ya.

People Who Don't Read, Are Dumb.

Last night I finally (after about five months of reading) finished Stephen King's The Stand. A 1000+ page book, it wasn't the best King book I've read; that honor goes the The Dark Tower Series, especially Book 4:Wizard and Glass.

Anyway, after reading the last page of that epic, monster, brilliant novel I got the same feeling that I usually get when I finish a really good book/series. I felt a like a burden has been lifted, because when I undertake the task of reading a book/book series there's always that point when I have to make the decision to either stop reading now or continue on even if the story becomes pure shit and I become dissatisfied with the ending. That point of no return can come within the first chapter or up until the second to last book in a series.

This rule that I give myself when reading can sometimes bite me in the ass, really hard. For example, I read Twilight about four years ago, way before the desperate virgin fangbangers gobbled it up. After reading the first book, I'm not gonna lie I liked it, I was eager to read New Moon and there was a point in New Moon where I realized that I had to finish this incredibly cheesy story. It was when Edward breaks up with Bella and is basically gone for over half the novel. I thought Stephenie Mormanface Meyer was being bold by removing Bella's pretty boyfriend from the narrative for so long. That was my point of no return for that series. Then Breaking Dawn came around and I completely regretted ever going through with that series. Breaking Dawn is pure idiot writing. I don't want to talk about it. It was just terrible. But I accepted the ending and decided that that book had just ruined the entire series. Way to go Mormanface.

The point I'm trying to make with my point of no return is that if you are going to start a book/book series you need to decided at some point to either finish it or not. If you decide the story isn't for you and you stop reading, that's fine. BUT (and this is one of my commandments in life) if you decide to finish you must accept that the ending that was written is the only ending for that story. I HATE when people finish a book and say "I hated the ending, that's not how it should've ended. So-and-so shouldn't have died." The books is that the story and characters are copyrighted for a reason. Because they are the author's stories and characters, and ONLY the author, the original author, has the ultimate say in how a story is supposed to end. Because they created it, they see the story in their minds before they even write it. IT'S THEIR STORY, THEIR ENDING, THE ENDING CAN'T BE WRONG BECAUSE IT'S THEIR STORY.

It's hard to remind myself of this fact of life after reading shit like Breaking Dawn. I just have to let the ending rest in my mind and thoughts for a day or two and finally accept that that's the ending to the story and those characters and nothing else could've happened. The End. For example, the ending to the Dark Tower series is completely controversial. It has split fans down the middle and more people probably hate it than like it. When I first read it, I felt completely cheated. I didn't know what to do. I closed the book and sat there for at least fifteen minutes contemplating what had just happened. However, the next day I re-read the last couple of pages and it the ending made sense to me and even though I still wished it had ended differently I accepted it.

I just decided that this post is going to be a two-parter. Part Two will be posted sometime tomorrow.

Kay-bye.

Paris, Texas: Home, Sweet Home.

Two days ago my partner in crime, the legendary Sarah Henry, and I made an epic voyage through southeastern Oklahoma to visit Paris, Texas. Needless to say the voyage itself was one big clusterfun. But it wasn't until we drove into Paris that I truly felt this trip had meant something.

Paris is unlike any other city, or Paris, in the world. The city itself knows it's probably the most ridiculous place in America and I like that everyone in Paris is in on the joke as well.

First of all, they have a replica of the Eiffel Tower with a cowboy hat on top! How can you not fall in love with that?! The fountain in the middle of downtown Paris is filled with bubbles! Like a giant hot tub! It's amazing. There's even a statue of Jesus in the cemetary. . .and the statue is wearing cowboy boots. Brilliant.

I am completely head over heels in love with Paris and I am going to hopefully get my ass back down there sometime this year. It's beautiful.

Random Tuesday Update.

Sooo I've been a lazy little shit about updating this little doodad. This is going to be a quick and informative update on what is currently going on with me, life, and pop culture.

-I am finally watching American Idol this season. Currently my favorites are Katelyn, Siobhan, Alex Lambert, and Lilly. Crystal is, of course, fucking amazing and she is def my number one. P.S. Kara DioGuardi is a fucking idiot, I want to drop kick her bigass grill everytime she opens her mouth, and Ellen is cool.

-LOST had a rough start in my opinion but it's definitely building up to something thats going to blow my mind. Tonight's ep was especially kickass, I'm thinking about starting up a LOST Recap on here. Thoughts?

-You guys have no idea how excited I am that Lauren Graham is back on my TV. She is doing beautifully on Parenthood, it's a really good show. Like Brothers and Sisters without the millions of dollars.

-Also, I am completely caught up on Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy, The Office, Desperate Housewives, Real Housewives (which I'll get to in a sec), Parks and Recreation. I will soon catch up on Vamp. Diaries, Supernatural, Big Love, Ugly Betty, Chuck, and Life UneXpected. Patience everyone, Patience.

-P.S. Alice in Wonderland SUCKED.

-I went to see Shutter Island but I fell asleep like 20 mins into it and everytime I woke up wierd shit would come on screen so I just gave up and woke up at the end and still understood everything. Make of that what you will.

-P.S. Grey's Anatomy is good TV again.

-I got 17 Oscar predictions right. Fuck Bullock.

-Movies I'm excited to see that are coming soon: Diary of a Wimpy Kid, How to Train Your Dragon (3-D), Clash of the Titans, The Last Song (send it on), Kick-Ass.

The biggest news I have is that I have 1(!!!!!!!!!!!) follower, YAY ME.
Thank you follower, spread the word about my blog!!!!!!!!

EMILIO'S ANNUAL OSCAR PREDICTIONS!!!! :D !!!!! WOOO HOOO, the only opinion that matters.

Hey friends and stalkers, it's finally time to announce my Oscar predictions for this year's Academy Awards Ceremony.

I like to cover both the big races (Actor, Actress, Picture) and the minor ones (Costumes, Make-Up, Sound Editing).

Here we go. . .

And remember, my predictions are usually pretty correct. And this year's races aren't very close anyway.

Best Picture:
Avatar, The Blind Side, District 9, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, Precious, A Serious Man, Up, Up in the Air.

SHOULD/WILL WIN: The Hurt Locker. It's one the WGA, PGA, and the DGA. The PGA Awards almost always win the Oscar and it's just an amazing film. Avatar is the only other film that could win, also I'm not completely ruling out Inglourious Basterds, it's getting more and more supporters as the race goes on.

Best Director:
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Lee Daniels, Precious
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
James Cameron, Avatar
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Kathryn Bigelow. Only an expert filmmaker could've captured the intensity and preciseness of The Hurt Locker like she did. She is like the anti-James Cameron (fun fact: they were once married) who likes big bold visuals. She goes for the nitty gritty nailbiter images. It's definitely hers to lose. (fun fact: if she wins, she'll be the first woman ever to win this award)

Best Actress:
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious
Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station

SHOULD WIN: Carey Mulligan. There's still a chance that this pint sized brilliant actress can steal the trophy. But really this one's between Meryl and Sandra, and while Sandra has been cleaning up at every awards show the winner will be. . .

WILL WIN: Meryl Streep. I just honestly don't see the Academy rewarding Sandra for a movie just because she was decent in it and it wasn't a romantic comedy. Meryl completely dominated as Julia Child. She deserves it so much more.

Best Actor:
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker
Morgan Freeman, Invictus

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Jeff Bridges. He's literally won every award this season that matters. Nobody is competition anymore. However, Jeremy is gaining more and more support. Colin Firth was so heartbreaking in A Single Man and he won the BAFTA, but there's no real competition here. Congrats, Jeff.

Best Supporting Actress:
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Penelope Cruz, Nine
Mo'Nique, Precious
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Mo'Nique, surest win of the year.

Best Supporting Actor:
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Matt Damon, Invictus,
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Christoph Waltz. He gave an absolute acting master class in Basterds. Charming, frighening, hilarious, and manipulative. He's had this award since last summer when the film opened in Cannes. However, I wouldn't be too upset if Woody snuck in a win, he gave the best performance of his career in The Messenger.

Best Original Screenplay:
Inglourious Basterds
The Messenger
The Hurt Locker
Up
A Serious Man

SHOULD WIN: Inglourious Basterds. Just for having the balls to re-write history. Up I think has the biggest chance that any animated film has had at winning this award.

WILL WIN: The Hurt Locker. It won the Writer's Guild Award, it's win here isn't certain but it has the best chance.

Best Adapted Screenplay:
An Education
Up in the Air
Precious
In the Loop
District 9

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Up in the Air. Jason Reitman took the book and completely transformed it into a beautiful and subdued screenplay.

Best Cinematography:
The Hurt Locker
The White Ribbon
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Avatar
Inglourious Basterds

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Avatar. James Cameron is a visual genius.

Best Sound Editing:
Avatar
Star Trek
Up
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Avatar. Just expect Avatar to win at least three or four of these technical prizes. Maybe 5

Best Sound Mixing:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
The Hurt Locker
Avatar
Star Trek
Inglourious Basterds

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Avatar. Remember that Pandora wasn't just a beautiful place to look at, it also had very distinct sounds and noises in the background.

Best Film Editing:
District 9
Avatar
Precious
Avatar
Inglourious Basterds

SHOULD/WILL WIN: The Hurt Locker. So much of the tension of that film comes from the precise editing.

Best Make-Up:
Il Divo
The Young Victoria
Star Trek

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Star Trek. It all depends on the taste of this years voters. They may go for the over the top alien prosthetics, or maybe the classic beauty of The Young Victoria. Because there are so many nominations for Sci-Fi films this year I'm going with Star Trek.

Best Costume Design:
Bright Star
Coco Before Chanel
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
The Young Victoria

SHOULD/WILL WIN: The Young Victoria. Never bet against an old school period film in a category like this. Never.

Best Original Score:
Avatar
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Sherlock Holmes
Up

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Up. The movie wouldn't have been as heartbreaking without the beautiful music to back it up.

Best Original Song:
Almost There, The Princess and the Frog
Down in New Orleans, The Princess and the Frog
Loin de Paname, Paris 36
Take it All, Nine
The Weary Kind, Crazy Heart

Should Win: Take it All. BEST MOMENT OF THAT MOVIE was Marion tearing it up with this song.

Will Win: The Weary Kind. This Crazy Heart song has been picking up lots of awards this season. The Princess and the Frog would've had a stronger chance with just one nominated song, most recent films with more than one song nominated (Dreamgirls, Enchanted) don't end up winning.

Best Animated Film:
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Coraline
The Princess and the Frog
Up
The Secret of Kells

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Up. No competition here. I mean it is nominated for Best Picture.

Best Visual Effects:
Avatar
Star Trek
District 9

SHOULD/WILL WIN: Avatar. The only award that James Cameron is guaranteed to win.

Team Demi, or Team Selena?

Shits about to get real. . .
I don't know about you all, but I love a good catfight. Can't get enough.
Especially when the ladies involved used to be friends, for example: Heidi and Lauren, Paris and Nicole, and now Demi and Selena. Everyone knows that Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato were like total BFFs before they became Disney whores and now apparently things aren't so friendly anymore. There's a video on youtube where Demi is signing autographs and taking pics with fans. Then one fan asks how Selena is doing and Demi, without missing a beat, says "Ask Taylor?"

Hmm, that could mean one of two things. Either Selena is ditching Demi for her new BFF Taylor Swift (who won some Grammys, but we'll get to that later), or Demi could be referring to Selena and Taylor Lautner who dated earlier this year. I think she meant T-Swift because Selena was spotted having dinner with her recently and its sort of a secret that T-Swift and Demi were never really friends, in fact I don't think they like each other because Demi is Pro-Jonas while Taylor is obviously not.
Here's the vid where it all goes down: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSixH3Q9z1A

Now, lets talk about the Grammys. There are a lot of people that are still scratching there heads over how Taylor Swift won Album of the Year. Yes, its true she isn't the best performer, however when I saw her in concert last year she was hot shit, her voice just isn't up to par sometimes. She is also really young, 20, which made her the youngest person to win Album of the Year. Most of all her album is pretty much a bunch of songs about teenage boys. With that said, her album is also one of the rare occasions where I can listen to the whole thing front to back or back to front. Each of her songs were either written by or co-written by Taylor and they could all be number 1 hits. STOP HATING ON HER. Lady Gaga and Beyonce could've also won and I would've been fine with that.

OSCAR NOMINATIONS!!!! First of all, WTF?! The Blind Side for Best Picture, excuse me while I vomit my lungs out. . .Second of all no nomination Julianne Moore?! She was brilliant in A Single Man. The biggest news though is that Avatar tied with The Hurt Locker for most nominations with 9. Titanic, James Cameron's last movie scored 11 nominations. At this point The Hurt Locker definitely has the lead in both the Best Picture and Best Director categories. Also, if The Hurt Locker wins Best Director, Kathryn Bigelow will be the first woman to win that award, and she is James Cameron's ex-wife. DRAMA.

LOST IS BACK. Still haven't seen the season premiere but I will watch it tonight, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ENDING.

That's it for now. Adios.

The Joy of Pepsi.

Sometimes I feel like a walking Pepsi ad. I mean I drink it at least once a day (fuck you health, it's my body and i'll do what i want). I usually have one when I am in class. People see me walking with a Pepsi all the time.

So Pepsi people, as in the people in charge of marketing. PAY ME. Then I can buy more Pepsi and drink more and people will see the joy it gives me and they'll want some Pepsi and then everyone will be drinking Pepsi and we can all be caffeinated and happy.

That's all I have to say. . .oh wait. Grey's Anatomy is good this season, but I'm afraid it might be Katherine Heigl's last season. What sucks about that is that Grey's is now becoming just like E.R. which kinda sucks. But whatevs.

See Ya.

Guess, it's been a while?

Yo, sorry these past couple of weeks have been a complete menstruating bitch.
Time to update this little doo-dad.
Where do I begin? OH, I know. There's this thing called a Sandra Bullock, whom I have nothing against, that keeps winning these awards for her acting abilities. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with this, I like when good/great actors/actresses finally get some serious props for their talents.

The thing is, because people are voting for Sandra and allowing her to win Best Actress after Best Actress awards there's a little something called a Carey Mulligan that is getting robbed of what is rightfully hers. Let me say this once, because I'll can't stress enough how important this is, GO SEE AN EDUCATION. WATCH IT ONLINE OR HOWEVER YOU CAN. Carey Mulligan's performance in that is phenomenal, the thing is she probably won't win the Oscar because Meryl's got her Julia Child in the running as well. However, if Carey Mulligan loses, and if Meryl Streep loses, and if fucking (i love you Sandra) Miss Congeniality is up there holding an Oscar. I WILL FLIP SHIT.

Speaking of Oscars. How ridiculous is it that Mo'Nique (the star of Soul Plane, Phat Girlz, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins and many other great films) the safest bet to win an Oscar this year. I mean she definitely deserves it but its still pretty fucking funny.

Here we come to the moment I didn't want to talk about. . .
I don't know how well you all know me, but I've been involved in a pretty serious relationship these past two months or so. I've been seeing this smart, funny, sexy, crazy, trashy, informative, and slutty lady name 'Jersey Shore' once a week and I can't believe our beautiful relationship is ending tonight. What will I do without seeing Snooki's thong and vagina once a week? How about J-WOWW, who else is going to punch people in face for no reason on a regular basis? Don't even get me started on The Situation's ridiculous amount of witty comments and how he brings the trashiest girls in the world into what must be the most STD infected hot-tub on the planet?
IDK guys, but I guess life goes on.

P.S. Something great is happening, there are like two new shows that I am obssessed with: Life UneXpected and Spartacus: Blood and Sand. Nothing more exciting than finding two new programs to sink your life into.

See you guys, I'll try and update more often.