New Year's Never-lutions.

I've never been one to make a New Years Resolution. Why? Because I know I am never going to be a better person, I'm never going to eat healthier, I'm never going to stop any of my vices, and I definitely never going to workout more. Fuck that. I have better things to do.

Soooo instead I'm making a list of things that I will try NOT do in this new year.

1. I will not throw a tantrum if the LOST series finale is stupid.
2. I will not eat any vegetables.
3. I will not stop/cut down on my partying.
4. I will not laugh at the screen when Kristin Stewart and R-Patz try to act in Eclipse.
5. I will not miss out on the Deathly Hallows midnight premiere.
6. I will not forgive Carrie Underwood for not coming to Oklahoma on her new tour.
7. I will not stop drinking Pepsi.
8. I will not do my homework on time (all-nighters are the way to go)
9. I will not abandon Miley Cyrus when she goes Lohan.

and finally.

10. I will NOT miss any episodes of any of my 35-ish favorite shows.

See ya in 2010, Mofos.

Emilio's Favorite Things of 2009. THE ONLY LIST THAT COUNTS.

Since Oprah decided not to have a favorite things episode this year. I will be taking her place and presenting my favorite things of 2009.

Television:
-The love triangle between Sookie, Bill and Eric on True Blood.
-Anytime Rachel (Lea Michele) sings on Glee.
-Anytime Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) says anything on Glee.
-Lost's season finale cliffhanger.
-January Jones and all the fine women of Mad Men.
-Snookie.
-Kristin joining The Hills.
-Grey's Anatomy finally getting good again.
-The devil on Supernatural.
-The awesomeness of The Vampire Diaries.
-It's On with Alexa Chung getting cancelled.
-The threesome on Gossip Girl.
-Pam and Jim's wedding.
-Finally experiencing the beauty of Big Love.

Music:
-The new, hardcore, and raunchy Rihanna.
-Taylor Swift, for being country music's Prom Queen.
-Miranda Lambert, for being country music's kickass rebel child.
-BRITISH POP MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!! (La Roux, Erik Hassle, Girls Aloud (comeback now please!), Alphabeat)
-Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Gossip for finally making near perfect albums.
-Susan Boyle for having a voice that can make even Simon Cowell smile.
-"Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy"-Ke$ha :)
-PARTY IN THE USA being the official anthem of my life.
-And of course, LADY MOTHAFUCKING GAGA.

Movies:
-The Where the Wild Things Are trailer. For making me teary-eyed.
-Quentin Tarantino for proving that he is one of the best filmmakers alive.
-Mo'nique for her heartwrenching final monologue in Precious.
-The Up In the Air cast and crew. Very charming
-Disney and Pixar for making two very different animated movies that were both near perfect: Up and The Princess and the Frog.
-The actors who played Cormac and Lavender Brown in the Half-Blood Prince.
-MERYL STREEP as JULIA CHILD.
-Star Trek, District 9, and The Hangover for saving the summer movie season after Transfromers almost ruined it.

Celebs and their Scandals:
-Team Kate.
-All 15(?) of Tiger Wood's mistresses.
-The Kardashians for showing Paris Hilton how to get on magazine covers these days.
-Jessica Simpson for getting fat.
-Chris Brown, for every hit he gave Rihanna he took double on his career.
-Britney Spears, for not returning to her hot mess roots.

That's it folks. There really wasn't that good of a celeb scandal this year until Tiger Woods put his weiner in all those women. Hopefully next year Lindsay or Paris, but please not Britney, will show everyone how it's done.

Thank You, Mariah.

Let me start off by saying I don't believe in God. There, now that that's out of the way. Let me give an example of a piece of evidence that could prove God's existance. There is a piece of music out there. Better yet a piece of Christmas music. This piece of music features a batshit crazy, butterfly obssessed diva and lots and lots of sleighbells. And everytime time I hear this beautiful piece of music I can't help but dance, sing-a-long, and my whole demeanor just brightens up.

If there is one thing that could prove God exists, especially around the holidays, its "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah "Glitter" Carey.

I know tons of people around the world love this song. But I believe it is one of the greatest songs of all time. Not just Christmas songs. I can't get enough. I have probably heard it like 2546 times just this year alone. Can't get enough.

Anyway, let's move on. I just saw the trailer for the "Sex and the City 2" and it looks a lot more happy than the first one, which was pretty depressing. I'm a fan of Carrie and the ladies, but I'm not a die-hard fan, I generally prefer the show to the movies but I'll definitely see this in theatres (also, Miley Cyrus is making a cameo, score).

I was wrapping X-Mas presents yesterday and after finishing up all the gifts I purchased for everyone else I moved on to the gifts I bought myself. Yes I buy myself X-Mas gifts and I am not ashamed. I love gifting myself. Even if I already know what's inside. Please tell me I'm not the only who does this. I know there are other greedy bitches out there. Don't deny it.

Merry X-Mas Eve, Eve everyone. I won't say Happy Holidays cus Chanukah is over and I don't think anyone really celebrates Kwanzaa anyways.

See ya, wouldn't want to ya.

Popping My Blogging Cherry.

Soooo, people have been telling me that I should start a blog for a while now. And I'm bored as hell so why not? I must add that if you plan on reading this religiously (which you should) I can be very vulgar and nasty, like Janet Jackson.

Now that the both the Golden Globes and the SAG Awards have released their nominees awards season has finally started which mean I have to watch all the nominated movies before the Oscars roll around. So far I have seen Precious (M'ONIQUE?!), Avatar (This isn't a sequel to Titanic?), Julie & Julia "Hot as a stiff cock!", and Brothers. I don't think Brothers is going to get any Oscar noms but Tobey Maguire got a GG (Golden Globe) nom. I still need to see Up In the Air, An Education, A Single Man, Nine, and The Messenger.

On the book front I'm currently reading The Stand by Stephen King and it is amazingly brilliant. Go read it. Or at least pick up a book for chrissake. Except for the Twilight Series because Breaking Dawn is complete shit.

TV is pretty calm right now. All my shows are on winter break. But there is Jersey Shore, which is a work of complete genius. LOST is back on FEB. 2nd!!! Can't wait.

So this is pretty hilarious. Today my friend Micah showed me this website (which I will not share here cus its retarded) that is trying to say that mainstream music artists such as Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Madonna, Rihanna, Jay-Z etc. are all promoting Satan worshipping and shit like that trough symbolism and shit. Of course Micah, who is pretty gullible, believes every bit of it. BTW even if all those artists were worshipping Satan I wouldn't give two shits, they're music is good so who cares what they worship?

P.S. I've been catching up on the last season of Nip/Tuck and it is getting so fucking good. Finally. Last season was a hot ass mess.

P.P.S. Brittany Murphy died in 2009, but her career died in 2006.

Peace to you all and the Miley Cyruses in your life.