Summer Job? Fuck That.

A couple weeks ago I got to thinking that maybe I should get a part time job this summer just so I can have some money saved up in case I needed to bail someone/myself out of jail or if there was a sale on Harry Potter merchandise at Hot Topic.

Anyway, I decided to apply at a couple of random places. First on my list was Target, because it's my favorite store in the whole wide world. But they weren't hiring, fucking clit flickers. I applied at Half-Price Books because they had a huge NOW HIRING sign but didn't hear back from them, assholes.

One day I was sitting on my computer thinking of places I wouldn't mind working at, I had two rules: NO RESTAURANTS and it had to be a place that I would actually shop at/use my discount. I also took in account that it had to be at least somewhat close to my home. I settled on applying for Michael's: Arts and Crafts store. I like arts and crafts and it's not far from me so why not? I went to Michael's website and clicked on 'Apply for a Job'. Then the fucking application process began.

I don't know how many of you have applied for a job at Michael's, probably none of you. Motherfucker. That application was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I swear to god. It started out like any other application: name, social security number, have you been to prison, etc. Then the fucking ACT test came along. There was a portion that had questions, and I swear to god I am not exaggerating, that were similar to this: "What is 35% of 700?" and "If Sally's train leaves the station at 9:37 and Carlos's bus leaves at 3:45 who will get there first?" It was like I was back in fucking Algebra II and I had no idea what to do.

Fucking ridiculous. The best part is that that section was timed. I had 10 minutes to finish my fucking test, so i of course guessed on half of it.

Then came the "Questionnare" which literally had over 200 questions, and almost all of them asked "Would you consider yourself of a leader or a follower in group settings?" Halfway through "Questionnare" I gave up and just said I was a fucking follower and I realized that working at Michael's was not worth it.